He Doesn't Call it Our "House Guest" for Nothing

One lovely evening during dinner the Mr. mentioned our "House Guest".  Being that we live in our little home by the beach with only ourselves and the Chitlin, I had no idea he was talking about.

Me - "What house guest?"

the Mr. - "You know...the one that's here all week and leaves for a bit on the weekends."

I was confused.  Was he talking about his bed bug/spider phobia again? No...that tends to peak on weekends.  I looked around as if I somehow missed someone or something.

Me - "What are you talking about?"

the Mr. - "That thing in the corner of our room that keeps getting bigger and bigger."

I still have no idea what he's talking about. WTF?

Me - "I give up. What is it?"

the Mr. "First name: Laundry. Last name: Pile."

Crap...I totally didn't see that one coming.

the Mr. - 1
Me - 0

They Don't Call Me "Camera Ready" for Nothing

We've all gone through it...turned around for only a second only to come back to a moment of WTF?  Good thing I'm usually camera ready.

At least it wasn't our last roll of toilet paper...or we'd really be in the crapper

Best seat in the house!

Just a funny Daddy making the Chitlin laugh...and me.



*Sigh* Oh boy....Lol

They Don't Call Me "Facebook Page" for Nothing

I decided to create a Facebook page for my little blog.  It actually wasn't too difficult to do...all I had to do was click "Create Page", and voila! ....look at this, I created a page!

I was a little hesitant to do it at first so I decided to make a pros and cons list.

PROS

- User friendly to those more familiar with the "Like" button rather than "Follow"
- Allows me to stop sharing posts on my own FB page before Besties that don't read it start ignoring me
- Having two FB profiles will help promote my rapid growing schizophrenia

CONS

?

I thought about adding my last bullet point in pros to the cons list...but then decided against it.

P.S. - That is not a real pic of me dressed up like Black Swan.  



They Don't Call it "Poem Time" for Nothing

Mama & the Chitlin

It was a beautiful sunny day in the outdoor mall

Mama and the Chitlin were having a ball

The Chitlin was smiling , laughing, and playing

"What a little cutie!", people were saying

But it wouldn't always be such joy and laughter

For the Chitlin had her eye on something she was after

She began to climb the big ledge, like a tall mountain

She wanted to play "splish, splash" in the mall's fountain

But Mama caught her and held her close

Then something happened that she feared most

The end of all the fun and games was very near

The Chitlin began to scream for everyone to hear

She was throwing her first fit outside of their house

Mama felt shakey and tiny, like a mouse

Oh Dear Lord, "What do I do now?"

The Chitlin's face grew red...she was having a cow

Mama grabbed the Chitlin in one arm and the stroller in the other

Now she knew how it felt to be "that Mother"

More Poems: Flight of the Chitlin



They Don't Call Me "Master Baker" for Nothing

We have a peach tree in our back yard and this year we got LOTS of peaches.  So I decided to humor the Mr.'s quest for domestication by baking my very first pies. I made two because I had cut up too many peaches for just one... and because I didn't follow the directions, resulting to the first pie looking like this:

Apparently you are supposed to make slits or poke holes in these things... So I did for the next one and voila! My second/first semi presentable pie:

Who's a master-baker now? 

They Don't Call Me "the Versatile Blogger" for Nothing



I did it! I won an award...and I won it twice in one week!  No, it wasn't for how many of the Mr.'s shirts I shrunk in the dryer this week.  It's The Versatile Blogger Award! This must mean people like me...and that I'm awesome. But not as awesome as these ladies....thank you so much for awarding me with this and making me smile!

Make sure to check out:

Ciao Mama at http://mommybags.blogspot.com/

and

Kat at http://kat-makingthemostofit.blogspot.com/

You Mamas rock and I heart you! Cheers & Thanks! xoxo

I Don't Call Her "Bestie Kate" for Nothing

Bestie Kate was over and we decided to go to the Street Fiesta.  The Mr. opted to stay home with the Chitlin and drop us off... mostly because the idea of maneuvering a stroller through an intoxicated crowd, flanked by two women going this way and that, would give him an anxiety/panic attack so large that no amount of beers could possibly make it right.  So anyways, it was off to the the Street Fiesta for Bestie Kate and moi!... and we did what you do at these things... eat food and stare and random people walk by.

Eat Food

Me - "What do I eat now that I'm a Pescetarian?" (person that does not eat land animals)

Bestie Kate - (smiling w/her eyes) "You are SOOOO not going to make it a month not eating meat."

Me - "I REALLLLY want a hot dog."

Bestie Kate - (getting excited) "I'm totally taking a pic and sending it to the Mr."

Me - (looking around) "Oh good! Fish tacos." (....walks away)

Bestie Kate - "Damn."

Stare at Random People Walk By

Bestie Kate - "I feel over dressed." (apparently the Fiesta uniform was short shorts, bikinis, and boots)

Me - "I feel old." (because this uniform was worn by underage youngsters... haha, I said youngsters.)

Bestie Kate - "Who knew when we were young, drunk, dancing on bar tops, that we would ever feel old?"

Agreed, Bestie Kate...agreed.  And that is why I heart you.

Posts with Bestie Kate: Better Clear it with the King First, Drunk Sleepwalker

They Don't Call Me "Vegetarian" for Nothing

One day the Mr.'s Bro was over talking about how the animals we eat are being treated.  I've been a vegetarian ever since...well, kind of.  I still eat seafood so I guess I'm a semi vegetarian... which is actually called (I looked it up) a pescetarian.  Except they might still eat eggs and I don't... but that's not the point.  Anyway, the Mr. isn't taking this very seriously and it's been almost a week already! Last night he ordered Italian takeout from our favorite place and ordered our usual... mine happens to be a chopped salad with chicken.

Me - "Babe! You know I don't eat meat anymore!"

the Mr. - "Are you serious?"

Me - "Umm... helllooo. I haven't eaten meat in like 4 days."

the Mr. - "...stop being such a hippie."

Me - "Don't be jealous of my new lifestyle choice."

He then proceeded to tell me that I'm not allowed to call myself a vegetarian until I've been one for 30 days.  Fine.  I can do that.  Veggie patties taste just like burgers right?

They Don't Call Me "Cubicle Decorator" for Nothing

Lately I've been feeling a little funky at work.  I blame it on the dull grey/tan-ish cubicle walls.  It has nothing to do with my job...it's definitely the walls.  So, I'm in search of some sort of wall art or "happy place" I can go to when this funky feeling creeps up.  Perhaps a tropical photo I can escape to or encouraging saying for when the "blank" hits the fan... "Keep Calm and Carry On"? ...no I need something a little more special...and then I saw it:

Totally cute, right?!...and yet, perhaps, still not exactly what I'm looking for. (But, I may save this piece for home...right above the laundry pile.)  I think I need to go with artwork vs. signage. Hmmmm....Pandamonium by Banksy:



Perfect!  It says, "I'm a hard worker and approachable yet able to step it up when challenged."  Done! Everyone loves pandas.

They Don't Call Me "Technologically Challenged" for Nothing

I am Technologically Challenged.  I am the only person in the world that still doesn't own a Smart Phone and was the last person to start a Facebook page... But, I am the first one of my Besties to start a Blog! So I thought I should get my Technology "Hip With It" roll on and check out Google+....it's still in test mode and sounds like it will be the new FB! Bold words, I know, so I decided to go for it...and now have no idea what the "blank" it is.  One day I started exploring and noticed I already had photo albums set up...

My inner monologue went a little something like this:

"Weird, I didn't put any pictures up."

"Oh! They're all my pics from my Blog!" (apparently Google+ is connected to everything Google including Blogger)

"Hmmm...I don't think I want these here."

Delete!  Little did I know... or pay attention to the warning it gave saying it would delete these pics from EVERYWHERE!  So you can understand my panic when I found my Blog page no longer filled with cute little pics and replaced with symbols of this!

*GASP!* Big Fail! You win this time Technology but one day the Chitlin will get older and explain you to me...

They Don't Call Me "Floater" for Nothing

Lately, the Chitlin has been pooping in the tub. Why is she doing this? Is that normal? I'm absolutely poopified. I can understand the urge to pee...I mean aren't we all tempted when lounging in the pool?  Not that I ever would....I'm a Mom Now! The first time it happened was at Sitter Bestie's house while the Mr. and me were on date night and I thought, "Oh man, I hope she doesn't do that at home." Then she did...twice.  I remember when a floater used to mean that extra shot of rum floating on top of my pretty strawberry daiquiri....Today? ...not so much.

They Don't Call Me "Obsessed" for Nothing

There's a girl at my work that I silently obsess over.  Co-Worker Bestie and me like to call her "Pretty Girl".  We know what her real name is ... but think it's less creepy to call her "Pretty Girl".  Talking about her by her real name would make us sound crazy.  We like to dissect the awesomeness that is... "Pretty Girl".

Co-Worker Bestie - "I bet she eats whatever she wants and still stays skinny"

Me - "I bet she eats what she wants and poops out rainbows."

Me- "Pretty Girl shouldn't work here...she should be out being paid to be pretty."

Co-Worker Bestie- "She should be out being paid to be pretty and to poop out rainbows"

"Pretty Girl" is also pretty tricky.  Everything she wears is super cute and makes me hallucinate.  I start to think things like..."Wow....ponchos are so cute!" and "High waisted pants are so flattering."

...I wish I could hate you "Pretty Girl" but I just heart you too much.



They Don't Call Me "Family Time" for Nothing

The other weekend we decided to have some "Family Time" and go to Legoland.  "Why Legoland?", you ask? Well, our goal was to bring the Chitlin to an aquarium to enjoy seeing some fishies and Legoland is actually pretty close to us...plus I've never been and the thought of seeing monstrosities made entirely out of Legos really got me excited.  The problem with going to an amusement park, though, is that it's crowded, expensive, and full of tourists.  This all results to the Mr. being very cranky....but it was either drive an hour away, listening to the Chitlin cry half the time, or suck it up.  So it was Legoland or bust and after sitting in traffic to just get there, I could tell the Mr. was already getting his cranky juices flowing. 

The beginning of the Mr. complaints in chronological order:

"Parking is like $50 bucks!" (It's $12)
"Where the feck is a parking spot around here?!" (He used a different version of the word feck)
"I think we're the only non tourists here!" (After a tourist asks him if we are within walking distance of the beach)
"I really need one of those...like 5." (As he eyes a tourist having a beer on the grass outside the park)

But as we approached our destination his banter became soft background noise as my inner child lit up with the site of this:

A montage of memories began to play through my head of me spending hours playing with my beloved Legos....I was super stoked.  But!....more importantly I knew that the Chitlin would be ecstatic to see all the fishies and the Mr. would be silenced by the Chitlin's smile.  ...of course I was correct.

 

So in the end a good time was had by all.  The Chitlin was ecstatic, I was stoked, and even the Mr. had a little fun.  Although...he did say he found himself a new Lego Mrs. ;)