They Don't Call Me "Freaking Out" for Nothing

I had a little freak out the other night, but it's ok... because I did it silently in my head.

I was giving the Chitlin her bath when I found all these little clumps of something floating amongst her bubbles.  My inner monologue went a little something like this:

WHAT THE F IS THAT?! and that and that AND THAT!  ....did she poop... no... doesn't look like poop... looks like intestines... OMG - IT'S HER INTESTINES!!!  Wait... if it were her intestines she wouldn't be able to play splish splash in the water...  looks kind of slimy... IS IT PART OF HER SKIN?!!!  Wait... no, she looks fine... (I hear the Mr. coughing in the other room)  EWWW!!! ARE THESE LOOGIES?!!  DID HE REALLY DO THAT IN THE BATH AND NOW I'M BATHING OUR CHILD IN IT??!!!

Me - BABEEEE!!!!

(1 second later I could hear the Mr. get up from his chair)

Me - (looking in the bathtub)  NEVERMIND!

...It was just the pre chewed grapes and raviolis she had been hoarding in her mouth from dinner.

PHEW! My little chipmunk...

They Don't Say "Merry Christmas" for Nothing

Here are some things I've learned this Holiday Season:

• Next year do ALL shopping online (for the sake of my sanity and wallet)
• If shopping at the mall with the Chitlin, bring the SMALL stroller if I need to quickly maneuver through crowds. (the BIG one if I want to run them over)
• 30 Christmas cards is NOT enough to send out to ALL 60 of our friends and family
• Make sure to hide the Mr.'s presents so he doesn't open them BEFORE Christmas
• More wine.

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays from our Family to yours

They Don't Say "Add it to the List" for Nothing

We all have our Holiday shopping lists this season and I had to add something for us on mine...

Me - I need to add a comforter for us on the shopping list.

the Mr. - Why?  What's wrong with ours?

Me - ... I somehow managed to burn it.

the Mr. - .... What?

Me - I burned it.

the Mr. - WHY? HOW?

Me - I threw it in the washer.

the Mr. - You mean the dryer?

Me - No, the washer. I went into the garage to put it in the dryer and the whole place smelled like something burned and died in there...  It was the comforter.  I think it might have been the friction or something in the washer.

the Mr. - .....AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO TAKE THOSE THINGS TO THE DRY CLEANERS??!!!

Me - Yea. 

Conclusion: I am on my way to becoming the BEST housewife EVER! ;)

They Don't Call it "Christmas Time" for Nothing

It's Christmas time and I love my Christmas tree pants.  They're cozy, comfy, and perfect for snuggling up in front of the tv.

As I was walking into the tv room one evening...

the Mr. - Oh no... not the Christmas tree pants!

Me - What? You don't like them?  They're so cozy...

the Mr. - You're wearing them too much.

Me - Do you have something against Christmas?

the Mr. - (pause) ...It's June. Christmas isn't all year round.

Me - .... Well, it should be.

I Don't Call Her "Mama's Little Helper" for Nothing

Me - Isn't she cute trying to help out Mama?

the Mr. - Well... someones gotta do it.