An evening conversation between the Hubby and I....
The Mr. - How was your day honey?
Me - Good... Oh! I was talking to this guy at work (because he runs marathons) about how one of my toes turned purple from running.
The Mr. - Ok....
Me - He said that's never happened to him before. So I assured him that it's actually really common because my nail lady told me during my pedicure that sometimes girls come in with ALL purple toes!
The Mr. - (silence)
Me - AND THEN I told him how mine actually fell off during the weekend so I glued on a fake nail and painted it but just noticed it's gone...so I must have lost it somewhere in the office today. SO NOW I have to repaint my toenails in case someone finds it and matches it to the rest of my nails.... Sorry, I know you hate the smell of me painting my nails.
The Mr. - (pause) So... You were flirting with some dude at work.
Conversation at work while waiting in line for a salad in the cafe....
Co-Worker: Hi! How was your weekend?
Me: (insert generic answer) Good... How was yours?
Co-Worker: (insert generic reply) Good... What did you do?
Me: (deciding to give a real answer) ...well Saturday the husband said my PMS was scaring the shit out of him... And that I should probably pop a Xanax... (slight pause) ...and then... lets see... Oh! Sunday, I baked cookies.