They Don't Call it "Pink Eye" for Nothing

My eye is red.  It's been a little irritated all weekend.  Today it's SUPER irritated.  I think it's from my contacts. I would take them out... but "someone" (the Chitlin) ...broke my glasses.  Co-Worker Bestie thinks it's pink eye. 

Where: My cubicle
Who: Co-worker Bestie and Me
When: End of the work day

Me -  My eye is red.

Co-Worker Bestie -  Dude!  It's pink eye.

Me -   It's not pink eye.

Co-Worker Bestie -  Ok... But when you wake up tomorrow with a swollen itchy oozing eyeball... you'll believe me.

Me -  Thanks Doctor...

Co-Worker Bestie -  ...You should probably stop farting on your pillows.

Ummmm... I may or may not take this advice... it all depends on how I wake up in the morning.