They Don't Call it "Upkeep" for Nothing

Some people think that once you're in a relationship all the "upkeep" ceases to exist.  All the time you spent waxing, plucking, exercising, etc. in order to attract the opposite sex becomes unnecessary.  Not true.  What you now have is a single person dedicated in pointing these things out.

Disclaimer:  All sarcastic remarks are meant out of love.


The Mr. is driving as I sit in the passenger seat staring at him adoringly...

Me - .....I can see your nose hairs from here.

The Mr. - What? (Desperately covers his nose)


As I'm sitting in the kitchen in a tank  top and shorts...

The Mr. - Hey Granola - when are you getting waxed?

Me - I'm going this weekend and it's not even that bad.

The Mr. - Ya... if you're a hippie


Sitting on the couch watching TV together...

Me - Back hair is so gross.

The Mr. - Yea.

Me - You should probably have yours waxed.


Cuddling in bed...

The Mr. - Stop rubbing your feet on me.  ....Your corns are scratching my skin.

Sarcastic Loving Honesty: Because the person you love shouldn't let you walk around hairy with corns on your feet.