They Don't Call Me "Scary" for Nothing

Apparently, I can be a little scary.  The other day I came from work, looked in the refrigerator, and saw the Mr. had gotten sushi from the grocery store.

Me - "Did you go to the grocery store just to get sushi?"

the Mr. - "Why?"

Me - "Why can't I ask you a question without you BEING SO F*BOMBING WEIRD!!!"

the Mr. - ................ (I don't think he knew how to respond to this.)

The next morning.....

the Mr. - "Will you be honest with me for a minute?" .... "Are you getting your period?"

Me -  (very calmly) "No."

the Mr. - "Really?"

Me - "Yes, really ... because I got it this morning."

the Mr. - (With relief) "Oh, ok. You'll love me again in a few days."

Me - ................... (I didn't know how to respond to this)