Mama

The other day my Mama read one of my blog posts and said she loved it. She loved it so much that she told me she was going to print it out and put it in her album...

There was a time when I would have thought this to be silly. It's such a "Mom" thing to do. I would have told her it was silly to keep such a thing in a picture album... And she would've explained that one day I would understand... One day when I become a Mother...

And I am now... And I do now... I understand all the little things she would keep and do that I would right off as silly.

It's all things us Mommys try desperately to do in order to stop the time our children take growing up... It happens so fast. It's wanting to remember all the times our babies made us proud... By putting it in our scrapbooks. It's wanting to take a picture every time we do anything or go anywhere... Because those are things/events we will want to look back on and remember.

We all so much want to remember every single detail... Every smile, giggle, expression, laugh, noise... Every vacation, holiday, graduation, birthday.. Every first step, first day, first word, first times... Every day, every hour, every moment spent spending time together.

Just to breathe it all in and remember it all... That is all us Mamas want.

And I used to not understand...

How much I could love a person.

Until I became a Mother.

Happy Mothers Day to all you Mothers... Especially one silly one... Who will hopefully print this out for her picture album.

Drop Kick

We were at the park the other day and something happened that just broke a piece of my heart. It was small... But made me realize something so big.

The Chitlin was playing with some older girls (6 years old). She was laughing and smiling... Tagging along... but after awhile they didn't want to play with her anymore and got up to leave.

The Chitlin yelled to stop and told them not to go. She tried to reach for one of their hands (as she does all the time when she wants to show us something or to come and play) and the little girl moved her arm away and screamed at her. She screamed at my little 2 1/2 year old and said, "Get away from me and just leave me alone!" It was so loud and angry that the Chitlin started crying... And my heart just sank... someone had just hurt her feelings for the first time and she didn't understand why she got yelled at for wanting to play.

I explained to her that the girls didn't have to play anymore if they don't want to and not to touch other kids... But I wish someone else was there to tell their little girl not to yell at toddlers.

I thought about this moment all day and couldn't sleep all night. I realized that the older the Chitlin got the less I will be able to protect her from EVERYTHING. She will get her feelings hurt, she will get her heart broken... She will be disappointed and let down. She will leave the protected bubble of our home. We will not be all that she knows...

A little piece of my heart broke that day... and for the first time in my life... Mama Bird felt the urge to drop kick a kid.

I wish I could just hold you every single day.... As if this would keep all the bad things away

 

Little girl...

every day you grow...

so many things..

you still need to know...

Spoon

The Mr. vs. My Online Shopping Habit... Again

Walking in the door after work to find a package...

Me : (picking it up) What's this? (I often forget when I order things online)

The Chitlin rushes over... She believes every package in the mail is for her (a result of having 2 Grandmas living far away that spoil her... and of me buying a majority of her clothes online)

The Chitlin: We open it?

Me: Yup! (tearing open the box and unwrapping all the tissue paper)

The Chitlin: It's a spoon! (a spoon rest to be exact)

The Mr.: (Sarcastically) Oh cool!  Something we totally need! (rolls eyes and walks away)

Me: Actually we DO need it.. because we have nothing to rest utensils on when we cook.

Silence...

I turn and look at the Chitlin still sitting beside me

The Chitlin: I LOVE SPOONS!!!

 

Well... as long as someone else in this house likes it... LOL

Being a Parent

I usually keep my posts light and short... But lately I've been feeling the need to vent on this thing called "Being a Parent".

I have a special person to call me his Wife, one immensely loved Little that calls me Mama, and other people that call me their friend, co-worker, etc. It's being called "Mama" that has proved to be the hardest name to live up to...

My challenges always boil down to change within myself.

I had the Chitlin right after I turned 30... and now she is about to turn 3. When she was first born...amongst the hard nights of no sleep, not knowing what to do, feeling worried that this thing called "motherly instinct" would never come, wondering if my body would ever feel the same - all this muffled by my pure joy of love at first sight... Amongst all this, my hardest adjustment was this feeling of loss of freedom... Before this I never even knew the feeling of not being able to do whatever I wanted. It was the loss of selfishness... Because for once in my life it wasn't all about what I wanted anymore... And in a way it was saying goodbye to the person I was and saying hello to the Mama I was about to shape up to be... And failure became my greatest fear because I realized what my biggest challenge in life would be.

Being the person/example I want her to grow up to become.

I've been needing to change a lot I feel... It's all the things I've always wanted to change in myself but never had the courage to do.

It's becoming more assertive when I'm more comfortable being passive... Because I want her to grow up with confidence and be able to achieve what she wants in life.

It's me being more social when my natural shyness just makes me want to sit quietly by myself.. Because I don't want her to be overlooked or feel awkward around others..

It means me controlling my temper and not yelling in front of her.... because I wouldn't want her acting/talking to me (or anyone) like that.

It's me reversing what took over 30 years for me to become and being someone better.

People always talk about providing the best tools in life for their children... the most important foundation starts at home.

Dora

The Chitlin loves watching Dora the Explorer and is growing quite the collection! Everywhere and everything is Dora...

Even in the bath... Because nothing is as relaxing as a bath full of Dora heads.

Dora sees you Chitlin....

 

So creepy yet soooo cute... She loves her so much that she cuddles with her plastic Dora doll at bedtime (with her plush Dora doll at her feet) ... Night, night Love Bug and Dora....

 

Hair

This is what it looks like when my hormones text the Husband...

The Store

Broccoli Salad, Spinach Dip, and Double Stuffed Baked Potatoes

After coming back from the grocery store...

The Mr. - I told you to go get healthy side dishes and you came back with mayonnaise.

Me - But the mayonnaise has broccoli and spinach in it.

Our Anniversary

We decided to take a family trip to Tahoe for our Anniversary this year. My Parents and Seester came for the fun little quick getaway... We rented a cabin, did some snowboarding, checked out the lake, played in the casinos... And of course, spent some much needed quality time together.

Everyone Just Enjoying the Yummy Breakfast My Dad Made

Me (feeding the Chitlin) - Yummy! You love Grandpa's eggs.

Mama - Whoops! Grandpa's eggs. (Starts giggling)

Seester - What's so funny?

Me - Mom thinks of the word "balls" when she hears "eggs".

Seester - Gross. Grandpa's balls?

Mama - (more giggling)

Questions

How I Answer "Are You Pregnant Yet?" Questions From My Mama

 

Mama - Now, I don't want to bug you or stress you out.... but.. are you pregnant yet?  I can't wait for more Grandbabies!

 

Me - Ummm, no... not last time I checked.

 

Mama - Ok... well I know I ask a lot... but don't get stressed out.  Just don't worry about it... and then it'll happen!

 

Me - I know... It's ok.. but we did have sexual intercourse today so you never know.

 

Mama - Oh yuck!  You didn't have to tell me that.

 

Me - But you asked.

 

Mama - I didn't ask that.

 

Me - Well I don't know how you guys did it... but I'm pretty sure sexual intercourse is how you get pregnant.

 

Mama - (laughing) Ok fine!  I won't ask you about it anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

Chips

The Mr. vs. Asian Food

Me - Hey Babe, do you want to try these shrimp flavored chips I got?

The Mr. - Sure... I'll try them. 

Seconds later...

The Mr. - Gross! Those taste like how shrimp would smell if you left it out for days.

He's always so descriptive in his exaggerations. *Munch*

Banana

Talking to my Mom on the phone about her Facebook "friends".

Mom - I was on Facebook and someone wrote something about his banana and eating it. I think there's some hidden message there.

Me - (silence)

Mom - What do you think he meant?

Me - (silence)

Mom - There is definitely a hidden message... I should delete him... but then that wouldn't be polite.

Me - (silence)

Mom - Maybe it was a joke? ... and people don't understand the joke because he has a different sense of humor.

Me - (silence)

Mom - Oh!  I saw that cute picture of my grandbaby that you put up over the weekend.  She's so sweet...

Like a child hiding under the bed... I sit quietly until the scary subject just goes away.

Seester Talk

*** WARNING: The following content is rated R and completely vulgar... Because that is how my Sister and I communicate with each other.***

My little Sister came to visit over the weekend for a little dose of "So This is What Life is Really Like When You Have Kids". 

After I walk into the room where the Chitlin and her are watching tv...

Me - How cute... You guys are watching Olivia.

Seester - Oh, it's called Olivia? ... I thought she (as in the Chitlin) was saying LABIA... Olivia is much better.

Driving alone together to the store...

Seester - So after you have a baby... Does everything go back to normal down there?

Me - I don't know... I'm too scared to look.. Probably looks like bad pastrami.

Seester - (pause)  Great... Now I don't want to eat that pastrami rueben I left in your fridge.

After watching the Chitlin so the Mr. and I could go on a date night...

Seester - She was jumping up and down and then puked all over me.

Me - That's nothing. There are times when I've been puked, pissed, and shit on all in the same day.

Seester - You REALLY make me not want to have kids.

Just doing my job bringing reality to the glamorous, cuddle bunny life of "having babies".

Weekend Wishlist

"No New Things February" has begun.  Good thing pay day for me was Jan. 31st this week...  meaning I loaded up on all sorts of crap before the 1st.  One of my recent obsessions... Camouflage

Camo sweater and black skinny jeans are from Forever 21.
Camo hoodie and ankle boots are from one of my fave places... Target.

Wins!

Because everything that is meant to be will be...  Because the glass is always half full... Because there's a bright side to everything...  Because the Xanax helps me chill the fuck out.

Wins!

I've had a large amount of bird poop in the middle of my windshield for weeks now.  I keep forgetting to clean it off when I go to the gas station... But then it rained this week and that took care of that.  WIN!

I asked the Husband to get me a zucchini from the store for the pasta I was making.  He came back with a cucumber... But then I had cucumber for my shake in the morning.  WIN!

I was about to take a shower when I realized I was out of body wash.  This was a problem because: 1) I didn't want to smell like the Mr's Old Spice.  2) The Chitlin's vanilla/ bubblegum/ strawberry stuff makes me think of strippers.  3) 1 and 2 were not good enough reasons to wake the Chitlin up from her nap and go to the store.... But it's ok! Because I have an obscene collection of toiletries I like to save from hotels.  DOUBLE WIN... because they're freeeeee!

Weekend Wishlist

Nothing like a rainy weekend to encourage fun indoor activities... mine would be online shopping OF COURSE.  The best website to surf is Etsy... all sorts of stuff I didn't know I needed on there.  AMAZING!

I just got these in the mail.  They're cute 5.5x5.5 postcards I plan on framing and putting up in the Chitlin's room.  The Mr.'s sarcastic take on them... "That was $20 well spent."  He just doesn't get it.

Set of 3 headbands for the Chitlin... ordered them and can't wait to see if she actually keeps them on her head.

Placemats... because the Mr. keeps using my nice napkins as placemats and it's starting to really bug.

Less than a week away from "No New Things February" ... I AM FREAKING OUT.

Flashlight

Kids love flashlights. ...For some reason the Chitlin calls it a buttlight... At least that's what it sounds like to me... but I don't always understand what she's saying and my mind tends to go the perverted road... So I may be wrong. Either way, she is fascinated by it. One day I turned it on and pointed it towards the ceiling. She laughed and clapped trying to catch the light.

The Mr. - Stop that.

Me - Why? She loves it... She thinks its funny. Why are you such a grump when other people are enjoying themselves?

The Mr. - Because. ...She's not a cat.

I paused to watch her dart about the room and chase the light as I moved it around from one side to the other.

Zoo

The Mr. had to work Saturday so we had a Mommy & Daughter day at the zoo. It was fun... Only a few anxiety attacks from single parenting it in a semi crowded area. What was I thinking? 

Weekend Wishlist

 

The Mr. says I have a bad shopping habit... but I think I find some pretty good deals.  That has to count for something, right?

 

1. Anthropologie Loule Mug $7.95

2. Anthropologie Pinwale Alphabet $7.95 They only have a few letters left online... but if you call a store they may be able to fine yours ;)

3. Brandy Melville Estelle Top $32

4. Forever 21 Open Southwestern Cardigan $27.80

5. Zara Kids Belted Dress with Studded Collar $19.99

6. Zara Kids Shirt Dress with Lace Trim $19.99

 

 

 

Potty

A few years ago I would see friends post pictures of their little ones on Facebook and what they made in the potty. "Freakin weirdos". I mean who wants to see your kids' body fluids in a mini toilet? Gross.

Flash forward to a few years later...

Now that we have finally started potty training I kind of understand the picture posting of human feces. Kind of. The first time the Chitlin went potty without any help, without us asking her if she needed to go - I swelled up with absolute pride. I thought this is a momentous occasion! One worth documenting! A milestone in this thing called life. But! I did NOT post pictures of her potty-rific self on Facebook.

That's what my blog is for.

I'm hoping this post resurfaces during her "Mom, Everything You Do is Embarrassing" faze.

Buzzed

Another day in the office....

Co-worker - Hi Ana! I like your neon sweater. It's really bright!

Me - Thanks! I got it "Buzzed Shopping".

Co-worker - Oh.. I've never heard of that. Is it a website?

Me - No... It's when I go shopping after a couple glasses of wine.

*TIP: Buzzed Shopping at Forever 21 = Reduced Buyers Remorse in the Morning... vs "Buzzed Shopping" at Anthropology

Smoothies

One night in the kitchen...

The Mr. - What are you making?

Me - A breakfast smoothie for tomorrow morning. I'm going to make healthy smoothies for breakfast every day now. It's my way of trying to save money by not buying breakfast at work all the time AND being healthy at the same time.

The Mr. - Sounds good. Can you make me one too?

Me - Sure! (As I smile to myself thinking about all the delicious healthy smoothies I will be enjoying all week at work)

It took about two days before I went back to buying breakfast quesadillas at the cafe... While at the same time still making smoothies. So now I am drinking smoothies AND eating egg, bacon, and cheese filled quesadillas.... FAIL

My Favorite Smoothie Ingredients

Carrots

Apples

Celery

Spinach

Cucumber

Almond Milk

February

The Mr. vs My Online Shopping Habit... Again

The Mr. - Let's play a game in February.

Me - What kind of game?

The Mr. - It's called "No New Things February". We don't spend any money on anything new for the whole month (besides gas, groceries, etc.). It should be fun and easy. There's only 28 days in February so you should be able to do it.

Me - (Pause for thought) .... So what you're saying is I only have a few weeks to buy everything I want.

The Mr. - No... No, that's not what I'm saying AT ALL.

Net Thing

I caved in and got that net thing that holds a gazillion stuffed animals in the corner of the room.  I used to hate that thing. I remember seeing them in kids rooms pre Chitlin and thinking "Those are the ugliest things I've ever seen"... "I am NEVER getting one of those."  But here I am... thanking God these things were invented... sitting here... feeling slightly relieved to get a little bit of room space back.  No one explained to me exactly how much stuff kids accumulate.  How can someone so small have stuff that takes up SO MUCH SPACE!? Strollers, car seats, swings, high chair... Ugh!  Thank goodness for this toy net...

I wonder if they make something like this for my shoes...

 

Nuts

The Mr. vs My Online Shopping Habit

The Mr. - Now what did you get?

Me - It's a nut bowl. Isn't it the cutest thing ever?! (Happily places the bowl next to the cutest salt and pepper shakers ever)

The Mr. - What the hell are you going to use that for?

Me - Ummm... Your nuts.

Little Ladybug

The Chitlin loves ladybugs... She loves them SO much.. I know because she told me. She lovvves ladybugs... castles... pottys...lamps... pretty much everything she sees.  BUT, she reeealllyy loves ladybugs.  I got her one of the sponges for the bath with a giant ladybug on it in order to help coax her into the tub at night (she loves the bath once she's in there... just hard getting her to go in *sigh*).  Anyhoo... I used the ladybug to get her into the tub and in she went... and then she gave it a big hug and said, "I love you ladybug".  I smiled and then felt guilty... because my kid was sitting in a bathtub hugging a wet sponge. 

Holidays

The Holidays were cray cray (I don't care if I'm in my 30's... I still want to use the expression "cray, cray").  We were all over the place... Orange County, L.A., the Desert, Vegas... We spent so much time in the car we were ready to kill each other.

While the Mr. drives and I stare drowsily at the road...

the Mr. - You are NOT allowed to fall asleep right now!

Me -  Why not?!  It's a 3 hour drive and you know I get narcolepsy while driving long distances.

the Mr. - NO SLEEPING!!!

Me - Fine. .....I have to pee.

 

 

 

All which resulted into having no problem with New Years Eve looking like this...

 

 

Hope everyone had a wonderful Holiday... Bring it on 2013